There's Something About Harry
by cum-here-draco
Summary: Harry's a virgin, Ronald is not. If you are screwing, you will be caught. Not by a head, who won't make you cringe, but perhaps by a teacher, on cocaine and binge. Hermione is innocent, Draco's a lapper, what can he do to finally tap her?


**There's Something About Harry**

**Authors: **Einstein & Einstein

**Chapter Characters: **Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, and Harry

**Disclaimer: **This story is based upon the Harry Potter novels written by JK Rowling. We do not own any of the characters we are writing about, nor any of the familiar content associated with Harry Potter. JK Rowling does not only own Harry Potter, but also possesses the power, the riches, the glory, Amen.

**Rating: **well we believe that all youngsters should be exposed to the reality of our world so really it should be G, but due to rules and regulations and of course international laws, it is **R**. So please do enjoy our content.

**Categories: **Humour, Romance, Moral Issues

**Warning: **Some content may be offensive to some, only meant for shits and giggles friends.

**1: Consecutive Explosions at #4**

It was a quiet night in the streets of Surrey. There was not a soul to be seen lurking around Wisteria Walk, Magnolia Crescent, Magnolia Road, or Privet Drive. All was quiet in the quaint suburban area. The streetlights shone upon the road like the moon against gentle placid water. The wind blew swiftly through the many trees and dodged the many obstacles with its cat-like reflexes. It was so peaceful. Not one person lie awake.. what the fuck is that!?

"BANG! BANG! Ah! BANG! Petunia! BANG! BANG! Ohhhhhhhh!"

Vicious groaning boomed through the brick walls of number 4 Privet Drive. The sound closely resembled a Grizzly Bear, kind of auburnish-brown in colour, about 439.75 pounds, waiting to pounce on its lanky prey. This prey, was none other than mid-aged housewife, who closely resembled a giraffe, Petunia Dursley.

"BANG! Ahhhhhh! That is the spot! BANG! BANG! CREAK!"

In the Master Bedroom, located down the hall on the right hand side, two very different figures lay as one on their king-sized waterbed, which was bought recently by the husband's summer bonus. However, this waterbed was not filled with water, but a kind of sticky white substance. Hmm.. whatever could that be? The same thing that is being secreted all over the velvety black bedsheets, which resembled the star stricken night sky. Which coincidently blended in with aunt Petunia's genital area.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhh! Petuniaaaaaa! BANG! BANG! BANG!"

The sounds diffused all through the Dursley household not to mention the entire neighbourhood, as the window was accidentally left ajar.

Uncle Vernon became louder and louder as he was at the peak of his climax. He thrust his enormous 67-inch waist in and out into aunt Petunia's forbidden garden. At least that's what he thought it was. His enormous abdomen was strategically placed against her fragile 98 pound, 5'9 bodice. Every square inch of his girth was covering her like a protective shield. He moved forcefully back and forth trying to reach his ultimate pleasure.

"Oh yes! Vernon like! That's what Vernon neeeeeds!"

At the moment, Vernon did not really care if he was hurting Petunia or not. His many rolls rippled as his motions increased. His titties and sweaty sausage like nipples slapped Petunia across the face as he tried to create a stirring motion inside his wife's nether-regions. He sped up and worked his sweaty body as fast as he could to reach his orgasm. His very minute penis ejaculated the same sticky pearly white substance within the waterbed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!"

As uncle Vernon looked down, gasping for breath, he realized that he had just covered everything in his man juice. He took much strength to bowl his fat sweaty body onto its back, peering over at his wife's horse-like face. It was dark, but the light from the streetlamps illuminated the room. He could see no stirring from his wife, her face was stark pale and her eyes red and bloodshot. "Petunia," he whispered looking down upon her face. There was no answer. She appeared to be passed out. Uncle Vernon looked over at her night table, and saw that there was an empty pill canister, and an empty bottle of whiskey.

"Petunia you insolent pill pusher!" he yelled. "Just because we came home that humid night and caught Dudders violently shagging another neighbourhood male toddler, doesn't mean you should start pushing pills, drinking, and not putting forth any effort to my pleasure!"

"Vernon, it wasn't even in." Petunia muttered very calmly as she awoke from her on and off coma.

"What are playing at!? Dahhhhhhhhh!" yelled uncle Vernon in frustration as he leapt from the bed.

It was once again quite silent. Uncle Vernon still yet failed to notice the window ajar, and the nosy neighbours in the street, who had heard absolutely everything that had just happened since the noise began, only slightly over a minute ago.

"What's that?" curiosity struck uncle Vernon very hard is the ass, as he leaned over to peer out the window at the many spectators who had gathered just outside the house with great interest, and to what all the commotion was about. He saw some horror-stricken faces, and some extremely pleased ones who looked as if they wanted to run up and get in on all the action.

With his cunning face, Vernon Dursley squinted his frustrated face out the window and held up a very unattractive flabby middle finger while shouting "Fuck off! Go home you blasted perverts!"

Actually what Vernon Dursley had said was quite contradictory to his own self. He turned from the window and thought for just a moment. He was the biggest pervert he knew. Feeling quite unsatisfied with himself, he strode over to his bed when something in the hallway caught his eye. A sliver of light poked out of the creak in Harry's door. Willing to investigate this sudden disturbance, he tiptoed over with great difficulty because the balls of his feet could barely withstand the immense weight that his bodice carried. As he entered the hallway, he stopped dead in his tracks as a faint but sexy young voice spilled out of Harry's room.

"Penis Maxima."

A small snakelike and taunting voice in uncle Vernon's head overpowered Harry's and spoke to him very enticingly. "You could use the boy you know. He could fulfill every one of your fantasies. Lord knows that daft corpse in your room couldn't do it. But we know the boy can. We both know you're not satisfied. Give it a try with the boy. This is your chance, it may not come again." Uncle Vernon was convinced. The mysterious voice overpowered all his senses and feelings. He moved closer to the door, sneaking a glance into the room.

"Penis Maxima."

"PENIS MAXIMA!" Harry bellowed.

There were two screams. One very pleased scream half laugh, and another very shrill and terrified. Uncle Vernon let out another scream, as something very pointy, thick and hard came shooting straight at him, hitting him square in the left eye, dripping much of the same liquid that covered his sheets at the very exact moment."

"What the devil are you doing boy!" Vernon yelled very menacingly.

Harry panicked at uncle Vernon's face, as a sudden look of excitement and hornyness washed over it. Uncle Vernon had just realized that the thing that stabbed him in the eye, was none other than Harry's penis enlarged a hundred times its actual size.

"This could play to my advantage," uncle Vernon whispered to himself. "A penis that size could do amazing things. It could pleasure me in ways unimaginable."

Without hesitation, uncle Vernon lunged at Harry's new and improved unit. Harry quickly reacted to the threat that uncle Vernon was bearing. He dodged uncle Vernon's dick-hungry outstretched arms and did the only thing a young innocent boy would do in this situation.

"REDUCIO!" Harry yelled as he tapped his already above average parcel. His goods hastily shrunk back to their normal size. He was just experimenting, but he really had no real need, as he was endowed with an already immensely thick but unfortunately stubby dick.

Harry waved his wand in a long sweeping motion and all of his school things soared through the air and into his trunk which shut closed with a BANG quite similar to the banging heard earlier going on in aunt Petunia and uncle Vernon's bedroom.

"Locomotor Trunk!" he screamed as his trunk flew into the air and smashed through the window.

"Accio Firebolt!" he screamed again as his Firebolt zoomed to his side ready for him to mount. He jumped on creating great discomfort to his testicles. He had no time to put any knickers or trousers on. He gripped the broom shaft with his toned butt cheeks and rode off into the night sky. It was star stricken and the air felt nice breezing past his naked bottom half. He could hear Uncle Vernon's delirious calls of protest as he flew higher and higher, his trunk trailing closely on his tail.

The soothing air smelt of mountain springs and freshly dewed lilies. He was free. Free of the enslavement he had had to endear with for his whole life. Not for a whole year, would he be cornered into the cupboard under the stairs, and have to make videos he certainly was not comfortable making.

Finally he would be able to see his friends and look forward to the commencement of their sixth year at Hogwarts. He had been cut off from the wizarding world for nearly two months and was ecstatic to see his friends who he hadn't seen since his departure from platform 9 3/4 after his fifth year. He knew he had changed a lot over the summer and looked forward to seeing their changes as well... their physical changes.

**Next Chapter Summary: **After a very breezy but enjoyable ride in the night sky, Harry will find himself in Diagon Alley. He and his friends will venture into many shops, but whom will they run into while causing a ruckus in Knockturn Alley?


End file.
